You know that feeling you get when you are in an elevator with a stranger? We all have it, and if you really want to make some points, try some of these!
Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting “Down! I said down, dammit!”
Ask for advice on a completely disgusting problem.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Ask people on the elevator if they’ve seen the first part of the movie Speed.
Ask, “Did you feel that?”
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Blow spit bubbles.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Bring a chair along.
Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone’s shoes.
Burp, and then say “mmmm…tasty!”
Call out, “group hug!” then enforce it.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Challenge your neighbor to a “Tic-Tac-Toe” tournament.
Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it’s getting to the good part.
Comment one by one, on the clothing of all the people riding in the elevator.
Countdown “5... 4... 3... 2... 1” and then suddenly duck.
Crack open your briefcase or purse and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.
Do Tai Chi exercises.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Explain to some poor innocent stranger all about the complex dental work you supposedly received. Get them to look in your mouth and everything.
Find a crowded elevator and pace back and forth inside it.
Frown and mutter “gotta go, gotta go” then sigh and say “oops!”
Get a vote from the entire elevator about some completely pointless issue.
Get on the elevator at the top floor and ask, “Going down?”
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!”
Have a friend with you, but act like he’s a complete stranger. After a while, turn to him and say, “Wanna trade?” Then promptly trade wallets.
Hit every floor button, and at each floor get out and say, “Nope, this ain’t the right one.” Get back on and ride to the next floor. Repeat.
Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day been?”
Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler “Bad touch!”
Keep muttering, “I hope it doesn’t happen again...”
Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.
Lean against the button panel.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
Leave a box between the doors.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Look at the ground while standing in the corner and moan softly.
Make chalk drawings on the walls.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Meow occasionally.
Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
One word: Flatulence!
Pick up the emergency phone and try to order pizza.
Play the harmonica.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
Push all the floor buttons. At every floor, get out, look around, mutter, “Looks okay so far,” and get back in.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Push the emergency stop button and say “Now it’s time for you all to DIE! Just kidding.” Restart the elevator.
Put notices in the elevators that read “Last Inspection: Passed. Next Inspection Due: Jan 2025’’
Put on a crash helmet, and take one of those mini-trampolines into an elevator. Stand on the trampoline, then say to a friend holding the emergency phone, ``Ok, Dave, I’m ready. Let ‘er RIP!’’ (This doesn’t quite make sense, but hey, you can’t have everything.)
Replace the 3 on the third floor button with the Greek letter pi.
Run like hell while the security guards try to find you to kick you out. (This can be applied to all)
Say “Ding!” at each floor.
Say “I wonder what all these do” and push the red buttons.
Say to an older lady “My you’ve got nice hair.” Pull out a pair of scissors and look suggestively at her.
Say, “Omigod, did you hear that?” And look completely panicked while not uttering a single intelligible word.
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
Shadow box.
Shave.
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons.
Sing anything by Guns ‘n’ Hosers while pantomiming the lyrics. (I love her but I had to kill her, would be good)
Sit in the corner and meditate. “Ohm.”
Stand right in front of the doors when waiting to get on. (This gets a good reaction from the people inside.)
Once inside, stand right in front of the doors, waiting to get out. (This gets a good reaction from the people waiting to get on)
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Stare at your thumb and say “I think it’s getting larger.”
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: “I’ve got new socks on!”
Start a sing-along.
Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming “Aaughh! Get them off!”
Swat at flies that don’t exist
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: “Wanna see wha in muh mouf?”
Talk in to your cell phone as you enter on the ground floor press floor 5 and when the door closes, in a shock voice say “what do you mean there’s a gun man on the fifth floor?”
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Tell some poor soul your complete life history completely out of the blue.
Try to get a game of “Twister” going.
Use physics to determine how fast the elevator will be going if it free-falls from the top floor.
Wait ‘til the door is almost closed then pry the doors apart with a painful expression on your face.
Walk in, and start reciting a shopping list in monotone.
Walk in, face the back and go about two inches from the back wall.
Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side.
Wander from corner to corner of the elevator during the course of the journey.
Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers “through” it.
Wear an earphone with the cord inside your jacket, carry a walkie-talkie. Once inside the elevator, stop it and say. “Williams FBI, I need to see some ID.” Look at everybody’s ID, restart the elevator and talk into your walkie-talkie saying, “It’s ok he’s not on this one. But we think he did manage to find bullets for his gun.”
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!”
When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay. Don’t panic, they open up again.”
When the doors close, look at the person next to you and yell, “Your nostrils they’re like wind tunnels, SUCKING UP ALL MY AIR!” Then scream and collapse, when the doors open, get up and calmly walk out.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask “is that your beeper?”
When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.
Do all of these things with a friend, while both of you are wearing trench coats and dark glasses.
